Monday, October 18, 2010

Struggling

I am struggling. Big time. I need help. Big time. I need to change. Big time. But I don't. Big time.

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. That's me. That should be my middle name.

I haven't gone to a Weight Watcher meeting since the end of September and I'm sure that has a lot to do with it. Oct 6th I had to leave work early because I had a sick husband and Oct 13th I was home for my daughter's birthday. I tried to attend a meeting close to my house on the 13th but they didn't seem to have open hours at that center.

I'm struggling with time management and making myself a priority and getting everything done. I always feel like the balls in the air out-number the hands juggling them but the thing is, that isn't going to change. Life isn't going to slow down. I just need to manage it better. I'm trying to accomplish the following:
  • Work full time
  • Be a mom
  • Keep the house in order
  • Be a wife
  • Plan, shop and cook meals
  • Be a friend with a small social life
  • Keep my kids schedules in line
  • Attend church and devote myself to daily bible study
  • Exercise
  • Maybe watch a little TV/sports
  • Birthday parties for my kids and others

It's too much. There's no time for Kara. Kara Insanity. Maybe that's what I should start calling my life. Kara's Insanity. Because that's what it feels like. And unless I make some choices like:

  • Eating healthy foods within my points
  • Exercising
  • Attending WW meetings

my life will always just be insane when it comes to my weight. Because after all, if I keep doing what I'm doing (which is opposite of what I SHOULD be doing) than I'm always going to get what I have - being overweight and unhealthy.

It's easy to say. Why is it so HARD for me to do?